Deciding to take out a joint mortgage is a huge milestone in any relationship—one that combines your financial future with your emotional commitment. But how do you know when you're truly ready for this significant step in life?
To help couples navigate this major decision, Barratt Homes has partnered with mortgage expert Terry Higgins, MD at The New Homes Group, and relationship expert Jessica Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Syncd, to explore how couples can best do so.
We also reviewed over 3,000 posts from popular Reddit threads like r/MortgageAdviceUK and r/HousingUK to find the top questions couples ask when buying their first home.
We then turned to our experts to provide the best possible answers about buying your first home together.
What the data says
Surveying 500 UK homeowners with partners, Barratt found that the average couple dated for at least one year before moving in together.
The poll also found that 57% of couples bought a new property together, whereas 43% moved into their partner’s already-owned property.
As for the top reasons for wanting to move in together, spending more time together topped the list with 37%. This was followed by starting a family with 23%.
Other reasons also included having their own space together (22%) and saving money on bills (13%).
Emotional readiness
Buying a new home together is about more than just finances. It’s a deeply emotional decision that reflects the stability and future of your relationship.
Relationship expert Jessica Alderson explains:
“Trust, communication, and long-term compatibility are essential when taking this step. A joint mortgage should feel like a natural progression in your relationship—not a way to fix underlying issues. If there’s instability in the relationship, it’s often wise to wait.”
Meanwhile, mortgage expert Terry Higgins stresses how emotional readiness is key to approaching financial commitments like a mortgage:
"Before committing to a joint mortgage, it's essential for both parties to align on financial stability, credit scores, long-term goals, and legal responsibilities.
“Open communication, trust, and clear agreements help ensure both are emotionally and financially prepared for the shared commitment and any challenges that may arise."
Questions to ask yourselves:
- Do we have a clear and shared vision for our future?
- Are we aligned on long-term goals, like career plans, children, and where we want to live?
- Is there mutual trust and open communication in our relationship?
Financial readiness
Q: What financial preparations should we make before buying a home?
Your financial readiness is just as critical when it comes to buying a home together. Assessing your individual and shared financial situations ensures that you’re prepared for the responsibilities of a mortgage.
Jessica notes:
“Discuss your expectations openly to avoid misunderstandings later. While it can feel awkward to discuss things like debt or spending habits, honesty about your financial situation builds trust and prevents surprises down the road.”
Terry emphasises:
“Knowing your financial numbers is the starting point for any successful mortgage journey. It’s not just about affording the deposit; it’s about understanding your joint financial future. Always assess your income stability, emergency savings, and debt-to-income ratio before committing.”
Steps to assess financial readiness:
- Review credit scores: Are both partners’ credit histories in good standing?
- Assess income stability: Do you have consistent earnings to cover mortgage payments?
- Evaluate savings: Do you have enough for a deposit and an emergency fund?
- Plan for contingencies: How would you handle unexpected job loss or medical expenses?
Navigating financial differences
Q: How should we fairly split household expenses and deposit payments if there's a significant income difference?
It’s common for couples to have different financial circumstances, whether one partner earns more, has better credit, or can contribute more towards a deposit.
Jessica explains:
“The key to managing these differences is communication and fairness. You want to ensure that both partners feel comfortable with the arrangement so that resentment doesn’t build up over time.
“Fairness depends on what feels right for both partners. Equal contributions aren’t always practical, so talk openly about what works for you.”
Terry advises:
“From a financial perspective, it’s crucial to document your contributions, especially if one partner is contributing significantly more to the deposit. Legal agreements such as tenants-in-common or joint tenancy can protect both parties and help avoid disputes later.
“Tenants-in-common (TIC) is a legal arrangement where two or more individuals jointly own a property together, but each has a separate share. With this share, the individual can sell or reserve the right to pass it on to their heir.
“In contrast to this, a joint tenancy is where each owner owns the whole property rather than a separate share. Unlike TIC, which passes the share to the next of kin, in ths instance their joint share automatically transfers to the other individual.”
Terry also adds:
“A good mortgage broker will also talk you through the different types of mortgage payment protection insurance as well as life insurance and critical illness cover. Mortgage payment protection insurance can cover the cost of your mortgage if you become unwell or lose your job.”
Strategies for navigating differences:
- Equal ownership vs proportional contributions: Decide whether to split ownership equally or reflect contributions in the ownership percentage.
- Legal agreements: For unmarried couples, consider a legal agreement outlining contributions and ownership to protect both parties.
- Discuss future expectations: Will you contribute equally to renovations or other costs?
Important conversations to have before applying for a mortgage
Q: How can we manage financial stress and unexpected costs?
Before signing on the dotted line, couples should have open discussions about money, their relationship, and their vision for homeownership.
Jessica says:
“Owning a home together is a huge commitment, so you need to ensure that your visions for the future align. You also want to approach these challenges as a team and be willing to adapt your plans as needed. Misaligned goals can lead to stress and conflict down the line.”
Terry adds:
“Beyond emotional alignment, financial alignment is critical. Couples often overlook how decisions like mortgage type or property taxes will affect their budget. Discussing these details early can save a lot of stress later.”
Key topics to cover:
- Financial disclosures: Share details about income, debt, savings, and credit scores.
- Long-term plans: Discuss how homeownership fits into your future as a couple.
- Home preferences: Agree on location, size, and budget for the home.
- Contingency planning: Create a plan for unexpected events like breakups or job loss.
- Daily financial management: Decide how bills, taxes, and expenses will be split.
The bottom line
Buying a home together is a life-changing decision that requires both emotional and financial readiness. By having honest conversations, planning, and aligning your goals, you can set the foundation for a successful homeownership journey.
Jessica concludes:
“The most important thing is trust and communication. If you approach this as a team and stay open to each other’s needs, you’ll be in a much stronger position to take this exciting step together.”
Terry Higgins agrees:
“A joint mortgage is a commitment to both your relationship and your financial future. Preparation, transparency, and teamwork are the keys to success.”
Ready to take the next step to owning your dream home? Explore our range of new homes and discover how our Own New Rate Reducer scheme can make your mortgage more affordable, with combined lower rates and monthly repayments.
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